A BEEG
DEAL ABOUT WINE
There are a few bits of
advice, some common sense ideas, that you pick up over the years if
you’re wise, all to make life a little more manageable. One biggie
is, never ask a woman if she's pregnant – because if she's not, boy
are you in trouble! In a different vein, there's the simple,
homespun advice that you should never, ever, do your weekly grocery
shopping when you're hungry – unless you have room to store the ten
pound sack of pistachios that you brought home with you. Then there's
the somewhat obverse corollary: don't start buying wine right after
you've had a few glasses.
I followed the last bit
of wisdom punctiliously when we were back in Teaneck, NJ. Twice a
year, before Pesach and before Rosh Hashana, our shul, Congregation
Beth Aaron, would host a wine tasting, organized by Kevin, the
proprietor of a local spirits emporium – as a warm-up to the wine
sale that he and the shul would run. We would buy at a discount, the
shul would get a percentage, and Kevin would make his well-earned
profit. By the second or third such event, I figured out something
startlingly brilliant. Don't get there at 7PM when the thing
started. Saunter in at 9:15. That would allow ample time to sample
the twenty or so wines that had been opened (unfortunately served in
plastic cups!) and still be there when they were closing up shop –
which was when they had to dispose of all the open bottles. Some of
the bottles would stay in the shul, but some of us would generously
offer to take a bottle or two or three of the leftovers off their
hands. There were order forms available to buy wine, and lots of
folks availed themselves of the opportunity to fill one out, hand it
back to the young lady at the table, write a check, and go about
their business. I was not going to do that. No, no, no! I would
leave with a few half-filled bottles of good wine nestled in my arms,
and a blank order form in my pocket. Several days after, when the
alcohol had gone through my system and I had calmed down, I sat down
with the list, mindful of our limited budget, and placed our modest
order. In the proverbial cold light of day, I was aware that there
was a lot of wonderful wine out there that was simply out of my price
range. My task was to locate and purchase the best of what I could
afford and anticipate the day when.….....
We seem to have a
little more money at our disposal, now that we are retired and living
in The Land and not dealing with the insane expenses associated with
life in Bergen County. Therefore, our budget for wine is not as
limited as it used to be. The availability of wine and other goodies
has also increased, now that we are living where kosher food is not
merely a concession to a minority, but a way of life. As a result I
have more opportunity to go haywire and spend more than I ought to on
some incredible cheese or a fine vintage. We have managed so far to
control ourselves – most of the time. (Unless Barbara goes by
herself to the cheese shop in our local mall, where they offer
samples of the good stuff to customers who are both discerning
and weak-willed.) One way to tempt fate is to visit one of
the many kosher wineries that are no more than a drive away. You
usually get a tour and are able to sample some of what they have to
offer. It goes without saying that, sooner or later, you would wind
up in their store where you could buy a bottle or two, or a case or
two....... Some of these places are complete rip-offs. They would
select their cheaper wines to sample and offer to sell them for a lot
more than you could find in downtown Jerusalem. Other wineries are
much more insidious. After sharing their genuine enthusiasm about
what they doing, they let you sample some of their top-of-the-line
stuff, the kind you like, the kind you want, the kind they hope you
will purchase….
Of course, if going to
one winery is dangerous to your bottom line, imagine the effect of a
wine tour, where you go to a bunch of wineries, one after the other –
and you're there, not just with a random group of visitors, but with
a coterie of wine lovers. Oh the temptation!
Several weeks ago, we
were actually on such a tour, organized by the Israeli branch of the
Young Israel movement and run by Eli Poch, the founder and proprietor
of the Jerusalem Wine Club, who had arranged for us to visit three
first-rate wineries in the Shomron (that's the area north of
Jerusalem sometimes called “Samaria”) – easily doable in one
wine-filled day. Eli is just the kind of guy you want to give a
running commentary on a wine tour, a legitimate authority on wines of
Israel, in fact an authentic Wine Expert – one who can sit down
with nine other Wine Experts, all of whom will correctly identify the
unlabeled wine being quaffed as a Fruit of the Loom Pinot Blanc,
2007.
The largest and best
known of the three wineries, the one we stopped at first, is Psagot,
now owned by the Royal Wine Company (“Kedem”), the largest
distributor of kosher wine in The States. No surprise, their
visitors center is suitably impressive, designed to host a busload or
two of people. What they do there is show you movies: the first
short film was about how Jews had lived in this area, the part of the
Land assigned to the biblical tribe of Binyamin, how we still
retained our connection to it, and that we needed to remain there.
Of course, the film was “preaching to the choir,” given the
nature of people on our bus, right-wing wine lovers to a person. We
were then ushered into a larger screening room, where we saw a
half-hour film, impressively produced, if somewhat bizarre.
As the film opened,
we see a young secular Israeli, riding in a cab in Tel Aviv. He’s
talking to his boss on the phone. Boss is telling him that he’s
getting a promotion; he will be in charge of the company’s London
office and will have to leave in a week or so to take over his new
job. This is the young man’s dream; he wants to make it “big
time.” (You have to do it with an Israeli accent: BEEEEG TIME.) He
goes back to his bachelor apartment and is about to open a
celebratory bottle of wine, when the phone rings. His father has
been in a serious accident and is in the hospital. The son rushes
there to visit him. (We realize something immediately:
the rest of the family is “religious.”) The father is intent on
getting released from the hospital, even though he is in no condition
to do so. The next day is the start of the grape harvest in the
family’s vineyard in – guess where – Binyamina. The son
reassures him; he has grown up in the business, and he can and will
supervise the harvest while his father recuperates. Off he goes.
Two things happen as
our hero is tending to the grapes. First, his old girl friend shows
up. She had left the country but has returned, realizing that she
belongs in the rocky soil of Binyamina, all of which
she explains in a long speech to our hero. She is, of course,
contemptuous of her old flame’s intention of leaving The Land to
make it BEEG TIME. Then our hero starts having real-live
hallucinations, seeing events from all over the Bible that occurred
in the area where he is standing. He forgets to call in to his boss;
he forgets to call the London office. His boss gets angry because he
went out on a limb to recommend this guy. Is he going to London or
not? What’s going to happen?????? You’ll never believe how the
film ends. Our hero marries his old sweetheart and takes over the
family business. We see him, with wife and kids in the background,
on the phone, making a BEEG DEAL with a wine distributor in London.
The basic premise of
the film could have been turned into a moving, sensitive film instead
of the agit-prop it was. But more to the point, I hadn’t woken up
early and headed to the bus by the Prima Kings Hotel in Jerusalem to
attend a film festival or a political rally. Where’s the wine? Oh
yes, when the screenings were over, we were ushered into the tasting
room, where we spent a few minutes sampling some of their stuff.
Certainly respectable, although a tad overpriced – in my humble
opinion. But we left no wiser about what makes this winery different
from all other wineries – which is more to the point as to why we
bothered to show up. A few people on the tour invested in some Psagot
wine, but not too many. We were in the majority!
Our next stop was the
Gvaot winery (“Gvaot” means “hills”), not that far away, but
v-e-r-y different. Their wine making plant was an industrial shack,
their “facilities” was a Porto-San, and their visitors center, a
long table outside the plant with wine glasses set out for everyone.
But the wine…… Now you’re talking. You’re also paying.
Their least expensive series is about 100NIS (current exchange rate
is about 3.5 to the dollar), their most expensive, about 270NIS.
That’s for a bottle. We had been promised lunch as part of
the package, and Young Israel was true to its word. In the storage
area under the bus were boxes of take-out from Holy Bagel (you want
your bagel with cheese, with tuna, etc.) to go along with our
world-class wine. The English speakers from the winery were either
sampling their products or AWOL, (although they did have a nice
brochure in English) so it was up to Eli to explain a little about
the wine and the family who made it. More people were lugging
shopping bags with wine bottles inside as they got back on the bus.
But not us. I had
already explained to Eli why I hadn’t joined his Jerusalem Wine
Club. (You pay a membership fee and you get discounts on good wine,
which he will select and send to you.) There is no point in buying
higher quality wine, the kind you would hold onto for a year or two
or three, if you have no way of storing it properly. Back in
Teaneck, our basement would do the trick, as it was cool down there
all year long. Not so our dining room here in Ma’ale Adumim. Here
you really need a wine fridge to maintain an appropriate, even
temperature through the short winter and the long summer. Otherwise,
you are wasting your money on such quality wine. And I was not making
that investment until after we had paid for the shiputsim
(renovations) to our bathrooms – which are going on as we speak.
(If your computer starts to shake as you’re reading this, that’s
the guy drilling upstairs.)
If you drink enough
wine over time and you pay attention to what you are drinking, you
begin to notice the differences in what you are tasting. The wines
at Psagot were grown in soil heavy with limestone, so their wine had
a certain taste. The wines at Gvaot were lighter and full of fruit.
The ones we were offered at the third winery, Tura, where we were
hosted by the wife of the proprietor herself, were fuller-bodied and
less fruity, but equally as good as the wines from Gvaot. Maybe it
was the woman’s personality and enthusiasm, perhaps it was the
quality of the merchandise, or a combination of the above, but people
were lining up at the cash register with their bottles of wine at 100
shekel a pop. I was also waiting my turn; I had picked up a box of
chocolate and a jar of jam, items that the winery was promoting. So
far, so good. Gotta save our money for the fancy faucets that are
being installed. (Ten minutes ago, the guys came down and took
upstairs the new bathtub that had been sitting in our living
room.)
Now would come the big
test. If going to three wineries was an almost irresistible
temptation, imagine the challenge of dealing with scads of wineries
all at once. Every year since we’ve been here, we’ve gone to the
Wine Festival held outdoors in August at the Israel Museum. That’s
always a fun-filled, romantic evening, hanging out with friends,
sipping wine, and looking out at the lights of the city. You have to
get there early while the wineries are showcasing their best
products. As the evening progresses and it becomes more and more
“date night,” the wineries start slipping in some lesser quality
stuff, figuring the kids are less discerning. The other problem is
keeping track of the different exhibits, for there are at least two
dozen wineries represented and everything is spread out over the
grounds of the museum. You need a map, which the festival no longer
provides.
A few weeks after our
wine tour, there was another BEEG wine event, this time at the
Jerusalem convention center. It was advertised as the largest kosher
wine event anywhere in the world. This year, the third time it’s
been held, there would be forty wineries represented, showcasing 160
varieties of wine. That's a lot of wine; would we be up to the task?
Well, yes and no. It was obvious to me from the get-go that even a
mouthful, a sip, of 160 kinds of wine was out of the question. I
needed a plan, a strategy to get through the evening – so I could
walk out when we were done and get on the #174 back to Ma'ale Adumim.
The layout for the
event was quite user friendly. There is a large entrance area at the
convention center with plenty of comfortable chairs and couches. On
the left is an area where the food court was set up. In the large
middle room, the wineries had their booths, all arranged along the
perimeter. In the center of the room was a large roped-off area.
That was the “wine store.” First step, get your wine goblet as
you come in. Then slowly, methodically, walk around and see who and
what is there. Unlike the summer event, you can't miss anything and
you can't get lost. Make some mental notes and set some priorities.
You know which booths you can skip and which ones are an absolute
must. When you're good and ready, start at one end, wine glass in
hand, and go around the room. If a booth is too crowded, skip it and
go back later. Engage the folks working the booth in conversation;
they all speak some English. Try to remember what floats your boat
and which wines you dumped after one taste. Drink enough to enjoy
yourself but not so much as to dull your senses and your memory.
That's not so hard, is it!!!????
After a while, Barbara
pooped out (she had been tired to begin with), leaving me to finish
the important business at hand. She repaired to the lobby, sat on
one of the white couches, and got into a long conversation with a
young woman from Beit Shemesh. After a while, when I had drunk as
much as I thought was prudent, it was time to start doing some
shopping. I left my wine glass with Barbara and went back in to find
one of the small shopping carts that people were wheeling through the
aisles of the “wine store.” Every kind of wine I had sampled
that evening was there, stacked neatly and, most importantly, every
bottle had some notation as to how much it cost. 100 shekels, that
would be the most I would spend, I reminded myself as I wheeled my
little cart between the displays. Remember you are in debt BEEG TIME
for your new bathrooms. I was nearly done – I thought; I had a few
bottles in my cart. I was standing at the Tura display, looking at a
few offerings at 105NIS, when a young woman with a sheitel approached
me. She was obviously one of the many hawkers hired to prowl the
store area to steer customers to the wares of a particular winery.
“Have you tried our
wine,?” she inquired, pointing to a nearby display for the Abouhav
Winery. In fact, I had not. As I had never heard of them, that's
one of the wines I chose to ignore. When I explained my decision to
the young lady with the sheitel, she was visibly distressed. I had
obviously done myself a great disservice, one which she was prepared
to rectify on the spot. The fact that my wine glass was in the lobby
was no obstacle; she would give me another one. How could I say no?
She brought me over to the Abouhav display and poured me a sample.
She was right. It was quite good, surprisingly so. There was only one
thing to do, give a swig to Barbara. I explained to the nice young
lady with the sheitel that I didn't buy wine, especially expensive
wine, unless I was reasonably certain that my wife would like it.
(Refer back to “common sense ideas” described in paragraph 1.)
So I trotted out to the lobby, my glass of Abouhav wine in hand.
Barbara was still sitting on the same white couch, talking to the
same young woman from Beit Shemesh.
What do you think of
this wine, I inquired, having no idea what she would say, as she had
previously vetoed several selections that I thought were first-rate.
This one got a thumbs-up (or the equivalent). I reported this
information back to the nice young lady with the sheitel. One more
question: How much is a bottle? 135NIS???!!!!!!! I was off the hook;
too expensive, I explained. The problem was, I knew what she was
going to say. The really BEEG DEAL about this wine show was their
sale prices. If you bought any two bottles of wine, the second one
was half price. That's a really BEEG SAVINGS. If you factor that in,
we're back to our 100NIS limit. What could I say? The wine seemed to
be quite good, Barbara liked, and it was in effect on sale. Plus, I
had been sipping wine all evening, and my defenses were down. I was
about to ignore the “obverse corollary,” don't start buying wine
right after you've had a few glasses.
We left the show with
six bottles of assorted wine, enough to fill up my wine carrying
case. They are all sitting in or on top of the wine rack in our
dining room. A fine layer of dust from the renovation is beginning
to settle on each bottle. Will that be enough protection against the
heat and cold – until I can afford to buy my wine fridge? We'll
find out, won't we?
Last thing: As I had
never, ever heard of the Abouhav winery, I decided to find out
whatever I could about it. So I did what you would do, I “googled”
it, and this is what I came up with (at
http://guideforisrael.com/personal-wine-tour):
While guiding a lovely family in the mystical city of Tsfat
(Safed), we stumbled across a fabulous boutique winery in a narrow
alley. Overlooking the Meiron Mountain, where Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai
is buried, a wonderful couple chose to reside.
Their home doubles as a charming hospitable visitors’ center
with the best view of the Meiron Mountain. Yigal, a formerly Tel
Aviv party scene producer, and his wife, Odelia, have become
more observant in recent years. While studying and living in Tsfat,
it seemed natural to take on the industry of Kosher wine. The warm
hospitality of the couple complimented the wonderful wine. “We make
only 7200 bottles a year”, says Yigal, “and most of it goes to
elite restaurants in Tel Aviv”. An example for this would be the
new restaurant of the Master Chef Jonathan Roshfeld at the Ritz
Carlton.
I had actually read about the opening of this restaurant; it is
apparently a BEEG DEAL as kosher restaurants go in the White City.
One thing is certain. Roshfeld is not getting all 7200 bottles. One
of them is here in Ma'ale Adumim at the Casden's. Now all I need is
a BEEG enough event to warrant opening it.
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